We are THE unnamed foreign intelligence source

We are the originals, the best, and the most foreign of all foreign intelligence sources. And we are here, right inside the United States, helping to keep an eye on you. See the happy man?

In case you didn't guess it, we are Chaldeans. We want to bring back the old Gods and Goddesses of Chaldea. We are very upset that our religion and our practices have been stolen and warped by the Jews, who changed our faith into monotheism. It is POLYtheism. Poly poly poly POLY. That means more than one. And not more than one like Christians either. They are technically polytheists although they say the three are one, but that cannot be. You can't fit three into the space of one, and if you did, they would be upset and elbow each other, and then who would get the remote control? But back to ancient times. Yes, those Jewish people they took our alphabet too. But we kept some of our religious practices safe from them, so you can still tell us apart. For example, do you have any heirloom mummies of household objects? HA! The Jews don't do THAT! And the special ceremonial Dance of the Forbidden Date Pits. They don't have that EITHER.

In our quest to bring back the Sacred Chaldean Civilization, we tell all the secrets of the world, such that they would not want you to know. From this we make bribery and donation money that we will use to regain our birthright. Someday the smoldering rubble that will be left of Iraq will be ours once again. And if the radiation level is low enough, we will live there for many years, just like in days of old.

When we get enough money together, we will reinstall our deposed King. King Nebuchadnezzar the 279th, rightful heir to the throne of Chaldea, is ready and waiting to return. He is even now in his trailer in Tempe, Arizona, but as soon as we call him, he will come to retake his rightful place. His boils are much better now, thank you very much.

15 April ::: Bad Taxes
We are trapped here in this America land because Chaldea has been taken over by rampant evil naughty people, which is bad enough, but what is even worse is that now we must pay TAX to the President named after a plant but is called by a very ugly letter of your American alphabet. read more...

13 April ::: Bad Israel
You must tell us why Israel keeps building things to annoy everyone else even though they stole the land from the Chaldeans in the first place? We do not understand.    read more...

21 December ::: Bad Pharmacists
This is truly awful. Those very stupid pharmacists who did not learn from Chaldean pharmacological practices have put bad drugs that make people have heart attacks. They are bad drugs made by goat milk drinkers who don't wash their hands enough. Take instead Cracker Jacks and milk for arthritis and you will get your surprise. read more...

Stop the plot to obliterate the culture of ancient Chaldea,

If you're interested in finding out the REAL reason that the evil United States invaded Iraq, read on. Luckily, we found out their evil plot in time, and now we will reclaim the core of Iraq as our very own. We will not let them get away with this outrage. They will learn!