Those Fun Loving Iraquis
Our friends, the fun loving Iraquis are spreading more fun throughout the Middle East, and especially into our homeland of Iraq by selling their weaponry to the naughty people who are keeping everyone fighting each other like a bunch of crazed baboons on crack.
You see, the Iraquis are very jealous of the ancient Chaldeans, and they wish to make certain that we never regain our homeland, and instead give it to the monkey food trough washers who came in from Syria and other naughty countries. If you were only to tell the Iraquis that their Chaldean brothers and sisters are ready to come back to Iraq as their rulers. We would be benevolent and happy, we promise.
So, silly Iranians, go hang out in Iran and stop selling weapons and just call us, the ancient Chaldeans, and we'll come back and fix the whole thing. Very simple, no?