We Wish Happy Festivus To All American Friends
We of the Chaldeans wish a Happy Festivus to all our American Friends. We know this is the most important holiday of your year, because more people watch the Festivus than any other show, and you gave many awards to the Festivus Man. We join you in celebrating this most important holidays. We ordered an aluminium pole for ourselves but we were told instead of other kinds of poles that we should use for other things besides Festivus so we became confused and instead chopped down a tree for Jesus. We are having difficulty putting ornaments on this oak tree without leaves, but we feel that maybe someday we will find out the special American trick to do this properly.
Happy Holidays to all, except those we don't like.