So With This Lebanon Problem
Tisk Tisk. The Chaldeans shake their heads with "we told you so" again. Back when what you call the Middle East was ours, there were no problems with this small country or that small country because it was all one and all the dates and fig trees and camels were ours. And we were generous and kind and had no problems with your crazy religions that tell you that you should blow things up. We know what can happen when you are in the hot sun too long, but if you want to blow things up we had special mailboxes in Chaldea for that purpose.
So why not let us call our King Nebuchadnezzar 279th and let us come back and take care of what you call the Middle East again. The first thing we would do is take away the silly borders and make it all one country under our King. Everyone loves our King, and his diverticulitis is much better now, thank you for asking. Then we would take away all of their bombs and rockets and tanks and guns and eating utensils and instead give them the sporks of peace. We must then change the names of all of the towns and countries to be things like Happyville and Pleasant Town and Valium Land. Then we would put prozac into the water supply for everyone, and change their religion back to worship the Old Gods in the way that is proper and show you the real ways before they had these silly books that people read the wrong way.
You will know that these things are best and then you will let us go back to our homeland and do things the right way. Someday you will learn.