Now With Your Airplane Hijackers
So we were watching your TV and saw that some Turks (who used to be Chaldean) hijacked an airplane to protest the Pope who said that Muslims were violent. I think there is this thing you Americans call "irony" that is used to describe this silly act. Back in Chaldea we had the same thing happen. The head of the Church of Fictology was telling his followers that they must sneak up on Chaldeans and kick them in the flabby rear section, saying "convert to the Gods of Fictology or you will die, you infidels." The Chaldeans, who have large flabby rear sections that were tired of being kicked, complained to the High Priestess who put on her funny hat and funny robes and decreed "Those naughty Fictologists who are kicking our butts must stop their violence."
Instead of stopping kicking our butts, the Fictologists began to run in circles, screaming and shouting. Then they hijacked a few public chariots, forcing the drivers to go to the wrong addresses and ruining our perfect public transit record. They hijacked the chariots by threatening their drivers with violence, yelling "we are not violent, but we will beat you up anyway."
We solved this problem by non violently duct taping the Fictologists to several ox carts pointed in many different directions, all of whom were never seen again.
Someday, you will learn.