Now With These Hotels and Bombs
Here we all go again. Bad naughty people blowing up American hotels in Jordan. We want everyone to know that no Chaldeans were blowing up any hotels anywhere today. Chaldeans do not blow up hotels even when their room service brings us the wrong thing, or the pool is too cold. Even then, we will not blow them up.
We know that the bad spoiled children "insurgents" were the ones who blew up the hotels. Those people are so bad and need serious repatriation. We feel that the "insurgents" need to be taken from all over the Middle East and moved to a new place, perhaps in North Dakota, where a fence will be put around it, and all the insurgents can go there, along with the Kansas school board, all the bad people in Gitmo, and all fundamentalists of all kinds, and then nobody will sneak in or out, ever.
Of course, this will make much room in the Middle East where we Chaldeans can go back and reclaim our homeland and bring our King. All will be well. You will learn.