Unnamed Foreign Intelligence Sources

We from Chaldea living in this America have been told that we are wrong, and that there is already a king here and there are none of those pesky separations of power needed. They have told us that it was very easy for the W to become king instead of president. All he had to do was make the people afraid, then say that he could fix it, then ignore the other parts of government who said that they should have a say too.

In Chaldea, we had a king like that. He didn't like the other king way back in 1200 BCE or sometime like that. So he said he was the king and ignored the other king. Only he forgot something important. The army got their pay from the first king, and so the army wanted to be sure of their supply of goat cheese and figs, so they took much duct tape (Chaldeans invented duct tape) and wrapped up the usurper king and dumped him in Egypt where he became Pharaoh Suxsuhmuch, inventor of the inverted pyramid tomb and way to write news articles. His rule was cut short by an unfortunate series of boils erupting in private places, and he was eaten by maggots in his sleep.

This is what happens to usurper kings. Someday you will learn.

Posted by Hecate at 01:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today the Supreme Court of the United States told the W president that he needs to get better glasses and perhaps eat more brain food because he forgot to read this convention from Geneva. We don't understand what chocolate has to do with being a chauffeur, but they say that the Supreme Court is very smart except for the Italian man who flips off people with bad gestures. So anyway, this Court decided that the makers of chocolate know more about how to treat bad chauffeurs on vacation in Cuba than the W president. This may be very true, since the W president seems very confused about such things as what they call "separation of powers." That is again why it is so much better to have a King because then powers are never separated.

Anyway, from the Chaldean perspective, the court told the W president that he is very silly and must not make any more silly policies that ignore the chocolate makers because they get very angry and threaten to raise prices on chocolate. And saying mommy said I could do it (mommy being something called Congress) does not count.

So today, poor W president must be very sad. We bet he does not eat chocolate for at least a month, and will not attend the next convention of chocolate makers in Geneva.

Posted by Hecate at 11:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)