Why are you looking here for a search? Are you nosy or something? If we wanted to give you something to search, we would put it on the front page in plain sight becasue that is the way we are. We are not afraid of you. You only have a keyboard. We have the knowledge that we are foreign. So take THAT. We are THE unnamed foreign intelligence source

Nobody else has as much foreign intelligence as we do. And that is why we ARE the unnamed foreign intelligence source you hear about all the time in the news. In fact, nobody else can even USE the term, because we have it trademarked. See the happy man?

We are the first, and we are the best. We can trace our foreign intelligence information to the very first foreign intelligence agent - King Nebuchadnezzar. Oh, you didn't know he was a foreign intelligence source? HA! See? We are giving you foreign intelligence already!

So don't believe it unless you hear it from us first. The Unnamed Foreign Intelligence Source.

Did you realize that most of the stories planted in today's press are from us; the unnamed foreign intelligence source? Well, now you know. Our agents all over the world wear blue shirts and blue patterned ties, and have manicured hands just like this. You never know where we might be, and what foreign intelligence we may be giving to the world press. Get the REAL story, before they filter it, right here.

15 April :::: Why Are So Many So Stupid?
The Chaldeans have found out through careful research that many people are actually very stupid. This is very upsetting to the Chaldeans, because it means that many have not even heard of us. This is a very bad thing and must immediately be stopped, by asking people whether they know of Chaldea, and if they say no, we must blow them up for the good of all read more...

12 April ::: Homeland Security Hates Chaldeans
Homeland Security has banned lighters on airplanes, denying us our religious freedom of immolation. Of course, it is not self-immolation, it is immolation of those who annoy us. read more...

10 March :::: UN Bad to Chaldeans
Once again, Chaldea was denied its right to become a member of the UN Security Council. This is becuase bad people again bribed them to vote the wrong way. Or they became confused because of the butterfly ballots. read more...

09 March ::: We Slept Well Tonight

Thank you for asking.

 

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